Isn't it ironic that Asian anime characters have massive eyes.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
Isn't it ironic that Asian anime characters have massive eyes.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
My wife went for her first scan today.
The doctor asked, "So then, boy or a girl?"
I thought, "What sort of cancer is this?"
(Source: thesickestjokes)
My flatmate is a bit of a pussy.
In fact, his favourite band is Write A Strongly Worded Letter Of Complaint Against The Machine.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
"You've been sent to hell because you were a poacher", said this guy, with a really good set of horns.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
After finding some of my dad's old photos of me as a child, it turns out I was quite a good looking boy.
Well the three naked men in the photo with me all had a boner, so I must've been.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
I phoned my boss and told him I was sick.
"I'll see you here at 9", he said and hung up.
I fucking hate working for a doctor.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
We were watching countdown when my girlfriend broke the news to me that she had aids.
Ha! I had mermaids.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
Sexplay is actually very common between cousins. The first time I saw my cousin naked, I looked at her little vag and said, "wut's dat yu haz dere?" She said it was her peepee, and I told her mine didn't look like that. She wanted to see, so I pulled it out, then she asked if she could touch it. I said, yeah, so she did. When it got hard, she started giggling and said it was cute, then gave it a kiss. I liked that, so I slipped it on into her mouth. We were both pretty young at the time. She was 6, I think, and I was about 28.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
Butter is slippery, that's why we eat as much as possible, to lubricate our arteries and veins.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
My cat always looks at me funny when I'm masturbating.
So I took a shit and started licking my butthole clean so he didn't think I was weird.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
I didn't eat your alphagetti don't put words in my mouth.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
I wish my girlfriend would be a little bit dirtier when she's giving me a blow job.
Her toothpaste really stings my cock.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice. Except Chris Brown.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
I saw a kid struggling on a swing so figured I should give him a push.
Now it's my swing.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
I have diet Coke and Mentos in my house…
In other words, my Nuclear Weapons Program is ten years ahead of North Korea.
(Source: thesickestjokes)
